fresh starts everyday

So I have come clean about wrestling with my resolutions in last week's post. Although my intentions for the year 2021 are clear, written down and in sight, I have had to learn to forgive myself for slipping up or for not taking them seriously at all. I have had to learn how to reevaluate the importance of my goals and rearrange my priorities from there. I am learning that it's not about what you do everyday but what you do the majority of the time that shines through.

Today's blog post is about inviting curiosity and generosity in your day to day life. Again I have talked about how these things go hand in hand when it comes to self-development without the "douchey" part per se. The motivational world is full of people who tell folks to isolate themselves in order to be successful, that they have to walk alone and truly suffer for their art which isn't the case. You can have a beautiful life and actually be aware enough to enjoy it. So without chatting your ear off too much just know that relationships are just as important as your business endeavours and that spirituality, self belief and a stable mental health are inclusive when I'm talking about (my definition of) success. When we're working on our external world we'll have no choice but to deal with our internal one.

So if you have to deal with your self-doubt and your self-loathing everyday and for the rest of your life, what would it look like if you didn't? What would it look like if you approached it from a different angle? If you are in a required Statistics class that you need in order to graduate (literally me last term), what would it look like if you weren't resistant to this? What would it feel like if I didn't compare, didn't argue, didn't take things personally etc? These are not bad habits that I'm promising to tackle but just opening up my mind by pointing out what I or others have noticed and seeing how I feel about them. Like in meditation, you don't up and chase every thought that arises but just look at it and think "oh I do do that a lot" or "this habit does make me feel drained and tired" or "I don't actually like doing x or y" etc. Look deeper in the pond that is your life. And I have come to love this expression that I picked up in yoga (ps I'm currently doing a 30 day yoga challenge with YWA if you're interested). When you picture looking into a pond your face naturally loosens and you smile just a little bit. You are not scrunching or holding or judging or rearranging, you are simply looking deeper. And in looking deeper, you find your innocence which makes it easier to forgive and let go.

I am choosing to remain curious about why I make the same mistakes, why certain things make me anxious or why, as vocal as I am, struggle to tell certain people the truth. I am not judging myself for it or making resolving these issue my new 2021 intention, but I am choosing to look deeper in the hopes of forgiving myself. This can easily turn obsessive and have you microanalyzing everything that makes up your life especially if you don't have an anchor/endgoal, like forgiveness, understanding or clarity. Look deeper than the surface level of how you've come to be, how you've grown and why some things without fail just piss you off! If you want to change your external world start with your internal one and everything else will fall into place, that I can promise you.

hope you come to a better understanding of yourself,

good luck loves, -@simplybusimee