moon rising 🌚 🌙✨

one day you wake up and it doesn’t all hurt so much...

you’re not as confused and doubt simply rises. After days of wishing it away, it just gets up and leaves or it gives you room to breathe. you don’t have to sacrifice for it or give in your reasons as to why you deserve it. You just have space to think. For the first time in a long time you have room to think. You have some headspace.

I was taking piper on her night walk. It was cold and dark and sooo perfect. I was aware of my presence and not all in my head about everything. Piper was eating snow and taking in the world around her and I decided to look up. It was snowing and it seemed like the longer I focused on it, the snow seemed to fall a little slower... And slower and slower til it looked like it was floating. The more I focused on it and appreciated it, the more it didn’t feel like I was in the middle of a snow storm.

That’s the same thing with panic attacks. Awareness are panic attacks kryptonite. I still need to be talked through breathing while having a panic attack, but being aware of my state before the panic hits is equally, if not, more important. The knot and heaviness in my chest is a signal. And then I get hot and I can’t get a word out that isn’t shaky and all over the place.

but it doesn’t go any further than that. If I’m aware of what’s happening, it doesn’t ever go further then that. Sometimes I know what triggers it and other times it creeps up and leaves me empty guessing what it was and why it visited.

This awareness only comes from experience. Knowing how you react in the face of anxiety helps you better deal with your anxiety. I can’t really help you with my tips and tricks, but I can assure you that you are not alone. Again, that’s not to generalize your experience, but to tell you that I’m right here with you.

That night the full moon rose from behind the purple clouds. It was soo beautiful and I was alone watching this happen but as much as I felt alone, I’m wasn't. We’re all under the same stars, sun and moon. We all, to an extent, share this universal experience that is anxiety, hugeee aspirations, doubts, depression and loving energy. We’re all one. And in the wise words from the cast of HSM, we're all in this together!

hoping the moon speaks to you too*,

*I wish I was kidding but I'm not