help yourself

do yourself a favor and help yourself

I hate those motivational posts about just doing it or you have the power to change your life and if you don’t do it then it is completely your fault because the choice to change your life is completely up to you. These hypermasculine motivational posts don’t consider disabilities, mental health issues, other responsibilities such as being a student with bills to pay or a working mother with small children or someone who doesn’t have the resources and accessibility to better their life over night. And what is success in these images??? It’s white man in hella expensive looking suits leaning on his ferrari or lamborghini or whatever with the tiniest woman on his lap and a pet lion or a man lifting weights over his head or Leonardo Dicaprio. Idk why but people like to slap a corny quote on a picture of Leo maybe in promise that we can all be as "successful" if we would just wake up at 5 am and cut off every one because it’s lonely at the top and you can’t trust anyone so you have to do it all on your own and let nothing stand in your way except for the inevitable heart attack that waits for you at 35. The scarcity mindset is problematic as well as this materialistic definition of success and the exclusivity. But that’s not what this blog post is about. This blog post is about helping yourself and I wanted to have a disclaimer mentioning that yes I know it isn’t that clear cut for some of us to change your lives as soon as we decide to do so. You might have people depending on you, or grew up in a cycle of abuse and it doesn’t allow you to sneak away to hustle or take time for yourself but here’s my reason for writing today... There is at least one little thing that you can muster some transformative energy and exercise a certain degree of will power towards.

I read this sign (wrong firstly. It was on a free chair that was up for grabs) and thought specifically to one situation and one person that is within my locus of control. The person is not toxic per se but they are not contributing much to our relationship. It’s a one way street. And this isn’t enough to cut someone off but it’s time to take them off this pedestal I didn’t know I created. They don’t care (as much as you do), and they don’t show it. 2020 is the year of meaningful and supportive relations and this isn’t it sis! And I’m holding anything against them for not being open and genuine the way I would like, I am letting go of expectations I didn’t know I even placed on them, I’m letting go of letting it consume my headspace because I would really really like to focus my energy on something else. Like my 2020 intentions, my horrendous sleep schedule and other things I am better able to control.

I need to help myself. And I am fully capable of helping myself. I’m also fully capable of asking someone for help, it makes no difference to me. Letting go of you is helping myself. Letting go of limiting beliefs is a form of helping myself. And believing that the universe is abundant and moving far far away from a scarcity mindset is helping me. I don’t need to work myself to the ground to be “successful”. I need to do something everyday to meet my highest self.

James Clear talks about habits in his book Atomic habits and one huge takeaway was when he says that “You do not rise to the level of YOUR goals, you fall to the level of YOUR systems”. Firstly, make sure your goals are your idea outside of being influenced into getting a lambo and a pet lion. And secondly, little baby habits are what makes a change. Not this guilt tripping that gives you no room to breathe it’s doing whatever it is that you are doing or undoing a little bit everyday.

As I’m writing this I found another post with Steve Jobs that says “You know you’re on the right track when sleep becomes an inconvenience”. People please please sleep and eat all your meals and call your mom and watch tv and eat cookies. Life is too short to be rich and sad. And the universe is wayyy to abundant for you to have to choose between being successful and genuinely happy.

help yourself to the abundance of the universe,